Creating Holiday Memories After Loss
Ah the holidays are upon us- finally! But for so many, this time is like a minefield. How can the holidays possible be the same now? We hear you, but the holidays don’t have to be a roadtrip through emotional hell. Creating new traditions, celebrating old ones in new ways, and being honest with yourself and others are your ticket for getting through this holiday season in grief’s company- and to create some new, lasting memories in the process!
Include Some Old Traditions
When we lose a loved one, we often try to keep the memories down so they can’t hurt us. We push out the light they offer and we even try to avoid those old things that used to bring us so much joy. Creating Holiday memories after loss starts with looking at the old traditions. Which ones are still important? Which ones do you want to pass down for the memories?
Create a holiday plan that you can look at over the next few months. Write down where you will be, what you’ll be doing, and even notes about what you can do if you’re hit with grief while you’re there.
Experience Old Traditions with Others
Often times, it may seem that participating in a tradition would be more painful then if you just left it out, but that’s not always the case. You don’t have to make a bunch of new traditions or completely cut out the old ones. Honor the traditions, and memories, with other friends and loved ones. This is a great way to celebrate the past while moving forward and creating new holiday traditions that will make future years easier as well!
Add Some New Traditions
While finding completely new traditions is possible, but difficult, they don’t have to be entirely new! If there are some traditions that you’d like to change now, then change them! Bring in other loved ones to celebrate with. Let them know it’s been a struggle and that you’d like to share this memory with them and honor a loved one whose no longer with you.
Give Yourself Permission to be Sad
As the holidays are coming, and you’re seeing so many happy faces, remind yourself that it’s alright to be sad. If you’re in the middle of a holiday occasion, it’s ok to be sad and to miss someone. Pushing down your grief won’t make it go away. Be honest with yourself and with friends and family about how you’re feeling.
If you start lying to yourself and others, you might end up feeling alone in a room full of people. Don’t let yourself slip into the habit of ‘faking it’ while the holidays are here because it’s easier than admitting that you’re sad. It’s ok to be sad, even during the holidays.
The impending holidays can leave you worrying, but there’s no reason to be stressed. Communicate with your friends and loved ones how you’re feeling. Create new memories with them, and even include some old traditions! Remember, this holiday season is going to be different, but that doesn’t mean it has to be horrible. Figure out what you need and read more about surviving the holiday season with grief here. (link to other blog post)
If you’re interested in learning more about preplanning and how it can help you or a loved one preserve memories, please fill out the form below.