Surviving The Holidays While Grieving
The holiday season is upon us and the storefronts and internet are lighting up with smiling faces and sales. So many people are happy and for some, the worries seem to be melting away. But for others, there seems to be a gaping hole in the holiday plans. For those who lost a loved one this year, the return of the holiday season can be discouraging, if not outright depressing. Afterall, how will the holidays be the same this year?
The Holidays Aren’t Going to be the Same - That’s OK
Say it with me- the holidays aren’t going to be the same, but that’s ok. Just like you will never be the same, the holidays won’t either. It may be blunt, but it’s true. And part of surviving the holidays while you’re grieving is to accept that yes, it will be different. It’s important to remember that while our loved ones may be gone, we still have their memories and there are many ways to include those who are no longer with us.
Create a Holiday - Success Plan
Since things are going to be different, it’s a good idea to track and limit exactly how different it will be. When you’re making your holiday plans this year, be honest with yourself, and don’t be afraid to try new things!
Create a plan of what will remain the same, for example are you still going to go to your Aunt’s on Christmas Day? Take note of what activities might be too painful to do. Where are some areas that you could skip traditions or slightly alter them so that you and loved ones can get even more meaning out of them?
An important part of your plans to survive the holidays while you’re grieving is to include some self-care! What can you do if you’re suddenly overcome by it or by memories? Who can you call, what activities can you do, and how will you get your mind off of it?
Create New Memories and Traditions
Some traditions and memories may be too painful. And if there is something that you’re dreading, then don’t be afraid to change it! Switch the destination of your holiday plans, or maybe take a real holiday-vacation. Getting through the holidays while you’re grieving will be difficult, but switching it up might make it easier on you and other family members who are grieving too! Remember, you’re not alone. Create new memories and traditions with loved ones, and honor those who are no longer with you by sharing their stories!
Be Honest with Yourself
Losing a loved one sucks and everyone else that’s around you seems so happy and undisturbed. It’s ok to admit you’re sad or that you wish it were different. Be honest with yourself and give your feelings validation. It’s more than alright to be sad when its the holidays and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise!
It’s ok to be sad, but it’s not ok to let it control your life. Yes, you may need to make some changes this holiday season just so you can survive it, but it’s also important to know when to say enough is enough. If you’re overly sad or find yourself getting lost in memories, take a break! Relax and take care of yourself. Skip out on traditions that will be too painful. Create boundaries for yourself this holiday season that will help you survive and thrive!
The holidays may not be the same this year. Well, they won’t be. Surviving the holidays with grief is an internal balance of creating new memories while remembering fond ones. Create an action plan so nothing can surprise you, be honest with yourself, and don’t be afraid to create some new traditions in the process!
If you’re interested in learning more about preplanning and how it can help you or a loved one preserve memories, please fill out the form below.